Dealing with insecurities

“Love your own skin, love yourself" This is a cliché already. But even if you ask the prettiest girl in the world, I bet she will confess that ounce of insecurity hiding under her sleeves---itching to be resolved.

I decided to talk about “insecurity” for this blog post because of a student. This very smart and friendly student of mine wrote me a letter last week. In her letter, she opened about her insecurities which bother her soul every single day. According to her, she may look strong and stable outside, but deep inside her is a girl wanting to be swallowed by the ground. Her insecurities were more on her physical appearance, being larger than an average teenager, coupled with messy hair and not-your-definition-of-pretty facial features. Even before she opened to me about these things, I already noticed her lack of self-confidence because she would always stare at the ground and was very uneasy whenever someone is staring at her. At that moment, as I read her letter, memories came back as if they only happened yesterday---It was painful to reminisce the past which already burnt into ashes.

My favorite quote about insecurity. Loud people tend to hide their insecurities, but those who are confident enough can always keep their silence. 

I remember when I was still in elementary; I don’t even bother looking at the mirror and check myself. I don’t even put powder on or wear cute hairpins and headbands, for me, these are for girls who focuses more on looking good rather than getting good grades. I survived primary level without getting bullied or being called with names. But as I stepped into high school, things changed. In the 7^th grade, I noticed that most of the girls are already putting powder on and their cheeks blushed artificially because of tints, while their lips were somewhat glossy due to layers of lip balms. As I compared myself to them, I noticed that I don’t look good---they look better.

My skin is already fair, and I have to say that even without powder on, my face looks white and smooth, but still, I dealt with mockeries from my classmates. My face is so pale, my eyebrows are so thin that it looks like it don’t exist at all, my nose is not that tall, my teeth are large making my mouth protrude a little, and my eyes are very small with very few and short eyelashes. Thanks to my Chinese lineages, I was bullied, verbally, by some of my self-proclaimed-perfect classmates. But the good thing about me, I didn’t care.

Yes, deep inside, I was so insecure by my looks because I have a lot of pretty classmates. But what made me ignore all of those ridicules is the fact that I believe I have one thing they’ll find difficult to possess---I’m smart. I’m not bragging here, but I do believe that having the brains is far better than having a pretty face alone. Since high school and towards college, I kept on holding to my plans of improving my physical self after graduating. And now, I guess, I already did. But regardless of the praises I am receiving from the people who surround me now, I’m still certain of the fact that beauty will fade after years. I need this now because it helps me interact confidently with others, but I guess I can’t rely on it for quite a long time. It is the heart that really matters, because it will stay with the people I’ve touched forever.

This is me when my face is naked. See? I'm not perfect but I've perfectly learned  to love my flaws :)

We have different insecurities that we find difficult to flush out of our system. It may be physical (which is very common, especially to girls), intellectual and social, which all lead to emotional distress. Insecurity, if defined literally, is just the lack of self-confidence. All that we need to do is to accept the fact that we are not perfect. Other people may appear close to being perfect outside, but you don’t know how shattered that person is inside. We cannot have it all, because that will put out the fire of humility in us---which is very important.

So how should we deal with our insecurities? Simple, recognize each of them first. If you’re not good-looking, accept it and find a way on how you can improve yourself. Don’t put on a mask, because that could be easily removed. Highlight your assets and work on your flaws, learn to love yourself and appreciate how uniquely God created you, because from there, you’ll get the change from the depths of your being, which will reveal your inner beauty.

You can do a lot of things to improve yourself, that’s how you should deal with your insecurities---seek for self-improvement and love yourself. Confidence cannot be given to you by your family, friends or even a mentor, it must come from within, and it must be willingly acknowledged by the person. Listen to suggestions and constructive criticisms from other people; these will help you look at yourself from the point-of-view of others. However, my one last advice is never to resort on imitating others. Find an inspiration, then work on it and build yourself uniquely.

My body may bear those bulges, but who cares? I love it anyway :)

Everything becomes beautiful outside, if the inside is refined by nothing but goodness.

Loving all my flaws because God gave each of them as a blessing ^_^ 

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