RIGHT NOW, I'm composing this post while my students are working on their hands-on activity. haha! Don't worry, I won't be finishing this here! I just want to start a few lines because I'm afraid that the thoughts might slip away...
Tomorrow, I'll be celebrating another year of my wonderful existence. As I welcome another year into my life, there are a lot of things that are floating inside my head---makes me have second thoughts sometimes, but helps me move forward and seize chances most of the time.
Before I bid goodbye to my beautiful life @ 24, I want to share some thoughts that are bugging me before my big day. I guess you'll be able to relate on these as well, especially if you are sharing the same doubts, fears, hopes and dreams ^_^.
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~Doubtful of my choices~
Even when I was still in college, my parents never interfere with my choices. They would always give advises, but never impose the things, which they think is right, on me---they always let me choose...let me decide for myself.
I become so independent because of that. Up to now, I still do the "choosing". I choose what stuff to include on my schedule; I choose when to go out or stay at home; I choose what career to pursue; I choose how to spend my life...entirely. But then, with all the choices that I've made, I'm still worrying...I'm doubtful of myself.
Our choices shape our being. We are made up of every single choices that we make. Living your life is indeed a choice, that's why I seldom believe in destiny. Events unfold in our life because we made several choices. And with the things that I'm experiencing right now, I can say that I've made some wrong decisions, wrong choices.
There's no one to blame but me, of course. I pity myself for doubting my own choices. But then I realize that "hey, why feel bad about your choices?" There's no bad choices, only good, better and best. Maybe, I have chosen only the "good" options, so I must work harder next time to have the "better" and the "best" choices.
I believe that @ 25, I'll be better, instead of good, in drafting my choices *crossed-fingers* I have to put my doubtful mind into deep sleep and trust my decisions. I noticed that the more I consult God before making any choices, the better my choices become. So starting tomorrow, I'll lean more to God ^_^.
~Fear of Change~
How many times did I opted for change? Countless.
A lot of big changes took place last year. Most of these changes were results of my choices. Actually, I'm a lover of change, that's why it is so ironic that I also fear change. If only change will bring us great things everytime, we will love to have it all the time. But that idea is far from the reality. SAD.
I don't want to be stuck in my comfort zone, that's why I would always let "change" enter my door. Most of these changes are very simple, so I don't really bother welcoming them. But as I enter my quarter life, I'm hoping to make some big changes---which scares me a lot. I don't know if I will still opt for change or just be happy of all the changes I've experienced and stick to it---until the end.
However, we all know that change is constant. Change is a necessity, it is something that we cannot remove from our system. All that's left to do is to accept change and use it for our own advantage. I must not fear change, but instead, be open and willing to accept change---because I know from now on, that there will be a lot.
~Hopes for a better future~
I am beyond blessed to have achieved a lot (I consider small accomplishments as great achievements) for 24 years. If I am to live a simple life, I think I can just go on like this forever. But of course, we are all hoping for something grand, not just for ourself, but most importantly for our loved ones.
My hopes for the future are not for myself alone (though I would honestly admit that it's on ME first) but for all the good people whom I met along the way. It's not more on the financial aspect, but more on personality development, career progress and relationship stability. I am hoping for a better ME, in terms of character and attitude (because I know I'm still not a good person, really). I'm also hoping to be planted in a career that will give me incomparable happiness (which is very difficult for me to find because I'm a free-spirited woman). Lastly, stronger relationships for the years to come---because I want to be more connected, more involved and more inspired.
Putting my hopes in God's will, as always.
~Dreams in reality~
I am a certified dreamer. I have them all---in all shapes and colors. But since these are just dreams, they are far from being real---from being true. I have disappointed myself several times because I keep on failing in achieving my dreams. The course of events always took me on a detour, and I would always end up glued at the wrong side of the box.
Why is it so easy to dream, yet so hard to make it a reality?
Then, I would again realize that dreams will remain virtual unless you put actions to transform them into something that can be touched---that can be felt. Shall I say: "Dream and act at the same time!" A dream will remain as a dream without action. But a dream with action will turn into a reality :)
So I won't wait for another year, I shall turn all these dreams into something real this year! Let us all make our dreams come true, just like in the fairy tales :)
However, we all know that change is constant. Change is a necessity, it is something that we cannot remove from our system. All that's left to do is to accept change and use it for our own advantage. I must not fear change, but instead, be open and willing to accept change---because I know from now on, that there will be a lot.
~Hopes for a better future~
I am beyond blessed to have achieved a lot (I consider small accomplishments as great achievements) for 24 years. If I am to live a simple life, I think I can just go on like this forever. But of course, we are all hoping for something grand, not just for ourself, but most importantly for our loved ones.
My hopes for the future are not for myself alone (though I would honestly admit that it's on ME first) but for all the good people whom I met along the way. It's not more on the financial aspect, but more on personality development, career progress and relationship stability. I am hoping for a better ME, in terms of character and attitude (because I know I'm still not a good person, really). I'm also hoping to be planted in a career that will give me incomparable happiness (which is very difficult for me to find because I'm a free-spirited woman). Lastly, stronger relationships for the years to come---because I want to be more connected, more involved and more inspired.
Putting my hopes in God's will, as always.
~Dreams in reality~
I am a certified dreamer. I have them all---in all shapes and colors. But since these are just dreams, they are far from being real---from being true. I have disappointed myself several times because I keep on failing in achieving my dreams. The course of events always took me on a detour, and I would always end up glued at the wrong side of the box.
Why is it so easy to dream, yet so hard to make it a reality?
Then, I would again realize that dreams will remain virtual unless you put actions to transform them into something that can be touched---that can be felt. Shall I say: "Dream and act at the same time!" A dream will remain as a dream without action. But a dream with action will turn into a reality :)
So I won't wait for another year, I shall turn all these dreams into something real this year! Let us all make our dreams come true, just like in the fairy tales :)
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I doubt if I can finish grad school.
I fear that I'll be living away from my family soon.
I hope that this blog will reach more readers and inspire more lives.
I dream to be the greatest person I can be, to be able to serve God more.
Getting rid of all my doubts and fears, I welcome hopes and dreams for this year, as I turn 25 ^_^
Much love,
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