How to deal with difficult people

I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW if I could really help you with this common, but dragging problem. However, all that I’m sure of, is the fact that I’m now dealing with some tough souls better than before. As we begin, you must keep in mind that most of the advises I’m about to give you can be too challenging. In the end, please never forget that you command your own life, and no one has the power to make it as unpleasant as what you will allow it to be.

Difficult people are the most unpleasant beings for me. If you’ve read my blog post entitled “Vampires do exist”, you’ll agree that they are truly suckers of happiness. They cause chaos because they feed with sadness, anger and distress. We label someone we know as a “difficult person” if he or she constantly bring us negative vibes, insecurities and uncertainties, which can all destroy our enthusiasm towards an endeavor, and lead to the obliteration of our motivation to seek self-improvement. It is certainly unhealthy to be with this kind of people---they will purposely drag you down; push you to your limits, until you finally lose yourself. 

Good thing there’s a healthier way of dealing with them. Yes, you cannot just run away, because if you do that, you will not learn how to effectively handle such individuals, and they will continue to haunt you incessantly. 

I bet the most common advice you already heard is to extend your patience and just understand. But how can you do that if what you are seeing are tactless beings, filled with guts to offend others through their words and actions? That’s why you must have a reason to understand them; you must see them as individuals who are in deep pain. It is indeed true that the main reason why they are causing pain to others is the fact that they too, are experiencing pain. Bearing in mind that these people are secretly in agony, will make you consider the reason behind their actions. 

Well this is one of the specialties of difficult people: to condemn. It is very obvious that their goal is to hurt your feelings, and one effective way to do that is by judging your deeds. So from that, you must erase in your mind any possibilities that you’ll be receiving praises or approvals from them. What you must develop now is the ability to look at those denouncements as constructive criticisms. In this way, you won’t get affected by their cruel judgments; instead, you’ll find motivation out of those and improve yourself more. Keep on improving, until they see nothing but positive things in you. Soon, they’ll find it hard to say bad things against you---since all of them will just appear to be untrue. 

No matter how difficult it is, try to do them good things. Be the first to offer help, or start a conversation and interact as positively as possible. They may turn you down a couple of times, but keep going. Just remember not to overdo this, or you may look unnatural and trying. Keep things casual, but with a little hint of friendliness, that will soon give them second thoughts about you. And the end of the day, as long as you do good things, you can surely sleep well with no worries in your heart. 

They can be annoyingly unpleasant towards you, but never step down and fight at their level of thinking. Try to respect them; their feelings and opinions, even if they are disrespecting you in return. This can be the hardest thing to do. But this, for me, is the most effective way of handling them. Showing these people that you have dignity and high sense of self-respect, will soon make them question their own actions, to the point that they will ask themselves: Why am I doing this to him/her? You may even influence them to have a change of heart too (I really hope so) :) 

In the end, what we want is a peaceful life. It is sometimes better than being right in front of everyone. If you think you can let these "difficult people" win a petty argument, then do so. Surely, you won't be less of a person when you choose to be silent and give way to others' loud opinions. You are not getting younger, but definitely getting older, so don't waste time dwelling on the negativities---for life is beautiful, you must enjoy it!

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That was certainly one serious discussion tho! *whew* But I'm so happy that I was able to share these thoughts...hoping that my advises will help you survive the challenging days filled with difficult souls. Don't look at them as the gray areas of your life, because they actually give color to your existence---making you stronger everyday!



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