You don’t have to be what the world expects you to be

When you look at the mirror, what do you see? Is it the same person you aspire to be, three to five years ago---or someone different?

I once had this conversation with a good friend, which bothers me up until now. Her partner, who happens to be a good friend as well, is really pushing her too hard to do this and that. To put it simple, he wants her to be just as successful as him. Well there’s nothing wrong with that, I mean who doesn’t want to be successful? However, they would often end up fighting over it. She wants success though, but at her own pace and through her preferred means. We ended our discussion with me telling her that she must go for what she wants, always, for it’s her life to live after all. 

It has its roots. As a child, we were told to be obedient and respectful, and that’s certainly right. While as a student, we were expected to get good grades, obviously, so we can have a better future   (but hopefully not the main reason why we studied). And now, the world is expecting us to use our degree to be able work in a 9-5 job, which will eventually give us a successful professional career. They want us to date, fall in love and marry at the right age. They require us to meet the standards of a good child, a perfect partner and a decent citizen. Not bad though, but what if you are ‘different’? What if that’s not who you are, and certainly not the mess you want to have in your life?

Living with expectations. I had lived 25 years of my life meeting others’ expectations: as a daughter, sister, student, colleague and friend. It was never easy, especially if there’s something in you which is being suppressed. But there was nothing to complain about, for it led me to where I am today; it affected my values, character and beliefs in a good way.  Yet little that I know, I was deviating from what I truly yearn for. And after more than two decades of doing things just to earn other people’s nods and praises, I took the risk, walked a strange path and chased my dreams. The road is unfamiliar to my feet, yet I still found the beauty in the uncertainty of my journey.

Taking chances. Did I have regrets? Partly yes, because I think I should’ve done it earlier. Yup, we are often beaten by the bugs in our head, which delays the opportunity to start anew. We are so afraid to diverge from the ideals of the society, that’s why most of us grow old, stuck in a life that had pleased others, but not ourselves. Until now, even I’m slowly taking a firm stand with who I want to be, I’m still being looked at as someone who have wasted her education and professional experience over a passion and a long-shot dream. Yet through it all, I still continue to take chances; with no expectations, only a purpose. 

The best advice. It is important to be exactly the person YOU want to be, and not someone others would love to see. Most people end up unhappy when they try to fit into a life opposite to what they actually aspire to have. Sometimes, it’s “what others may think” that influences us to swerve from the path of self-exploration, for often than not, we prefer to be accepted based on the society’s standards, rather than be judged for taking the unknown trail which our heart truly seeks. 

As I end this, I hope you’ll reassess who you are, what you are and where you are right now. The world puts pressure on us, which affects our decisions, changing who we are supposed to be. If you think you are different from the rest, so be it. Embrace your uniqueness; go for what sets your soul on fire. Make no one else proud, other than yourself. Do it FOR YOU. 

Always BE YOU.