WEDDING BELLS HERE AND THERE, my Facebook feed is continuously being adorned by pre-nuptial clips and same-day video edits. From high school classmates to college friends, most of my girlfriends already exchange vows with their mi amours…and individually living the married life. Wow…I’m just amazed on how brave they all are to face a new chapter in their life.
Well I’m not totally single, because I’m still (for the past 11 years) in a relationship, but technically in status, I’m single. Do I feel any pressure right now? Thinking about it, sometimes yes, but generally, I’m not. I already have thoughts of my dream wedding and how my own family would look like…but planning the wedding itself and having kids have never become my top priorities---neither my partner’s. It might seem odd, but even though we casually talk about these stuff, we still managed to set them aside for more important things.
But there will always be pressure.
I am always being pressured by the people around me, as well as the circumstances, to get married as soon as possible. They all have these reasons: First, I’m in the right age and condition, mature enough to handle a deeper relationship and a lifelong responsibility. Second, I’m at the best age of conceiving a child, with lesser problems in the delivery. Third, my age gap with my possible kids will be shorter and I can retire early. Lastly, I’m in a long-term relationship that must be taken to another level.
Though all of these things may be true, I am still not ready.
Anyone can always be ready for marriage, that’s what I believe. Actually, someone even told me that “You can never be ready for marriage. You must live the married life first, and then everything will follow”. Most couples that I know would say “It just happened. We wanted to spend our lives together, so we decided to get married”. Without enough savings or concrete plans for the future, they gamble all that they have and entered the conjugal life. I guess nothing can be sweeter and braver than risking it all for love.
But life has taught me something different: Wait patiently and prepare.
I can actually get married right now; perhaps a civil wedding won’t be that costly. Moreover, we can just settle anywhere, at their place or at my parents'. Having kids won’t really be that difficult, for we both have jobs to sustain their needs. But I know all of these things won’t be easy as they seem to be. That is the reason why I’m not giving in to the pressure, why I keep on suppressing my feelings. I know the difficulties it will bring, not only to me, but to the both us and most especially, to our loved ones. Even if I was blessed to have a really wealthy life, I would still make the same choices. Life is never easy, you cannot totally prepare for its surprises, but you can make yourself ready somehow.
I know that my own wedding bells will ring soonest.
I’ve seen how my parents struggled to raise their three kids; I saw how a married life can be so happy yet shattering at times. I’ve experienced how difficult life can be even if you’re prepared, how much more if you are not? The existence of my parents taught me the greatest lessons in life. Right now, they both believe that I won’t be making such careless and unwise decisions---that I will be more patient. God already answered my question a long time ago…Why did He let such problems cloud my parents’ relationship and family life? This is the exact answer: Because He wanted us, their children, to learn the lesson and become better individuals in the future.
We all have different time frames. Some can get married early, while some must wait for quite a long time. If you are waiting because you don’t have a special someone in your life yet, don’t be anxious, but instead, prepare yourself. It may still not be your time, but you’ll get there. Improve yourself, chase your dreams and become someone who is worthy of a great love. You can never be too old to found someone who will sweep you off your feet and promise you a life filled with love and happiness. Ask for it, be deserving and it will be given to you.
But if you are like me who is still preparing, be patient and don’t get pressured by other people. You and your partner must set priorities, grow together and become worthy of a great blessing---having your own family.
I believe that this blog will be different once Miss G becomes Mrs. G. It is quite overwhelming but I’m looking forward to the day that it will finally happen. But for now, let us hold the wedding bells; wait and see what will happen in the future.
until the "I Dos"… *smiles*
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