Health Talk: Weight Loss, Fitness Goals, and Body Positivity

Several weeks ago, a message popped on my phone screen. It was a guy friend who replied on one of my Facebook stories, dropping me a startling question (though it's actually not unusual for me to receive such, but I don't know why it stirred me up that particular moment). Okay, I'm quoting verbatim and here's the question: "Anong motivation mo magpapayat?" (What's your motivation to lose weight?) 

It's a simple question.

But it took me a couple of minutes to reply.

 

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This is my confession.

On my YouTube video, uploaded just a month ago, I happily shared my first milestone in this so-called "Weight Loss Journey". I've lost around 3.3 kg in just one week, and I'm over the moon with this success. I also provided, with all honesty, the reasons why I embarked on this pursuit all of a sudden (though I think I gave it a rain check long enough). To sum it all up, I simply want to regain my self-esteem and confidence. I want to look good so I can feel better about myself, again. 

Now I feel so accounted for this. 

Sadly, it took me a while to realize.

I was just being honest. I decided to lose weight because I am not happy with my body. To be more brutally-honest, I hate (or maybe disgust) to see myself naked in front of the mirror. The bulges, the curves, and all the imperfections here and there gave me, not only occasional, but very frequent negative thoughts. My dissatisfaction over the body I couldn't accept that is actually mine, led to a decision made overnight. I want to shred my unwanted weight, and I'm doing it no matter what. 

Though I did not resort to fad diets, or extreme self-starvation (at least my brain still functions rationally, because my license as a nutritionist-dietitian will disown me if chose to play a cheat card), I did pushed myself beyond the limit. I subjected myself into a very restrictive diet and excessive physical activity so that I will be able to achieve my goals immediately. Though it doesn't really affected my physical health (except for the fact that I lose weight way too fast than what is ideally considered "healthy"), it made my mental state suffer. Since what I did was like punishing myself for looking unacceptable, there was no satisfaction in my head -- like I could've done better. 

Yes, I was too hard on myself.

Did all of these out of self-loathing. 

I drafted this post because of two things: (1) I feel so responsible for promoting weight loss and body goals, which are focused on the numbers, and I want to own up to it; (2) I felt the need to share how I botch up on this "supposedly" inspiring journey, yet managed to trace my steps back and return with a better view and good intentions -- yes, the realness of it all. 

This is how I would like to inspire you.

To set things straight, allow me to share with you these realizations. Together, let us define and achieve our "healthy" body goals!

Focus on being healthy, instead of aspiring to lose weight. Losing weight has been an ultimate goal for many of us, because of the idea that having a slimmer figure will make others see us better. But how much weight should we lose in order to be fully appreciated by our peers? Does losing weight makes us feel more beautiful and confident? What are the crazy measures we do in order to lose weight fast? Can we say that we are indeed healthy after shedding several pounds? 

Well losing weight should not be the goal, but just one of the possible end products of a healthy lifestyle change. What we should aim to lose are the bad stuff, like fats; and of course develop what we need, which are muscles. So the actual weight can never be the basis of our body or health goals. To put it simply, a skinny and a chubby person can both say that they've attained their healthy body goals. 

It should always be about the real definition of "self-love". Yes, it is very important to accept who you are, fully, and that includes your body figure. Some would say that it's okay to stay in your current physique and you just need to be confident to live with it. And I agree, a hundred and one percent on that; as no one should feel pressured in losing weight or becoming thinner. But the question is: Is that really "self-love"? Are you actually loving yourself more if you live by practicing unconscious food intake and/or lack of physical activity? 

I think we are only justifying our irresponsible habits and making a huge misinterpretation on what body positivity and empowerment truly stands for. There is no ideal body figure, and there shouldn't be. We can never have the same size but we can all enjoy a healthy lifestyle -- one that will make us feel good inside and out. And yes, we should do this because we love our self, and not because we want others to love or appreciate us back. 

Go easy on  yourself and enjoy the lifestyle change gradually. There's no rush, you are not in a competition. If it will take you a month to decrease your intake of rice, that's totally fine. If you can only commit to a 15-minute walk, then by all means stick to it for now. Allow your body to adjust with the changes and eventually get used to it (so that it won't backfire on you in the near future). My very restrictive diet made me crave for a lot of sinful food, and as a result, I would force myself to do extreme and lengthy workouts (to the point that I can no longer stand or walk). Now, I just see to it that I'm choosing the right kid of food, observing controlled portions, engaging on regular exercise, but still enjoying some cheat days. I never had a lovely relationship with my body in years -- until now. And it feels so good. 

Progress should be tracked by what you feel and not by the figures you see on the scale. Once you choose to make the switch, your healthy food choices and regular physical activities will lead to losing stuff that are not beneficial for your overall health, but not really losing weight in general (like what I've mentioned earlier). The figures may not change that much, but what you actually feel in your body and what you see in front of the mirror will validate that you are indeed making a healthy progress. So it's time to ditch the scale, because the lies it tells you will not helpful for your mental state. Don't be like me who obsessed myself on dropping several pounds each week. It made me so anxious and unrealistic. Again, I am so sorry for (possibly) making others feel bad about their weight too. 

Leaving this here, for now.

That's it for the meantime. I will share more health-related posts in the succeeding days. Thank you for reaching the end, I hope you've learned a thing or two. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section, would love to hear them :)

Yes, I am just like anybody else who has a lot of insecurities, and would do crazy things just to be good enough for myself and for everyone. But I am happy to know better now. I'll continue learning and growing.

See you on the next post.

Always smile and be good!