GIRL TALK: When to Let Go of a Friend?

ASIDE FROM THE MISERIES our love life costs us, it is also our friends who usually give us heartbreaks. Sometimes, when a friend breaks our heart, it’s far more painful than actually breaking up with our boyfriend (or even after knowing that our crush will never like us). 

Our friends occupy a large space in our life. Actually, we spend most of our time with them than with our families (though this doesn’t apply to all). Why? Because they seem to understand us better, and they never fail to support our endeavors, whatever our pursuit may be. We are loved, trusted, cheered, comforted and even tolerated by our friends---that’s why we value them so much. Even the most introvert person can still have someone whom he or she considers as his or her friend. 

But what if things started to change? 

Just like any other relationship, a friendship is also bound to face struggles. It is normal to have disagreements and argue with a friend. Even though you agree on almost everything, there’ll come a time that you will disagree on a single thought or matter. When this happens, it is acceptable to give each other enough space to calm your thoughts and recognize your individualities. These disputes will soon be settled after a truthful dialogue and will lead to a better and stronger relationship. 

But what if you can’t settle your differences anymore? 

Change is the only permanent thing in this world, and your friend can change too. You’ll soon have these arguments that last longer than before; things will start to become unbearable. You’ll wake up one day exhausted with all the fights, starting to feel an unusual emotion towards your friend---hate. With this unwanted but irresistible feeling, you will quickly forget all the good memories that you had with your friend, and those will be replaced with bitterness. 

But you have a choice: 

To stay and save the friendship or let go and leave.

Of course you should try to save the friendship, do everything to resolve your issues, even if you have to swallow your pride and step on your ego. Why do these things? Simple, because you love your friend and you value your friendship. However, this may not be possible in all situations. Sometimes, after doing the best that you can, your friend won’t reciprocate. Worst scenario would be your friend causing you more harm than good. In such times, I think the best thing you can do is to let go and leave your friend. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself; never blame yourself because it’s over. If your friend is really “your friend” he or she will exert some efforts too (well he or she should). Friendship is a two-way thing. Although in some situations, one exerts more effort than the other, but it should not be you all the time. Now if you’re noticing that your friend is not helping you become a better person, and he or she only wears the tag “I’m your friend” at times when he or she badly needs you, then it’s time to let go and leave your friend---move on. Maybe that friend of yours is not really a friend at all, but a mere acquaintance. 

Remember, you don’t need people who will push you down; you don’t need a person who will let you deal alone with a problem; you don’t need somebody who will always take but will never ever give anything in return---You don’t deserve a friend who acts like a stranger but feeds on you like a parasite.

We are destined to meet different people in our lives, but not all of them are destined to stay. Maybe you just met that friend for a reason, but it doesn’t mean that he or she is meant to stay with you for a long time. Keep the good memories that you’ve shared as friends, but when you feel that things aren’t right anymore, listen to your heart and pray---maybe it’s already time to leave your friend behind and move forward. 


But in the end, let us not forget that it is best to save a friendship than part ways as strangers. Let God heal the wounds and try your best to be a better friend than yesterday. Think hard and Pray hard before making any decisions :) 


Will always be your lovely friend,