GIRL TALK: Why are you so complicated, LOVE?

I’M NO LOVE GURU HERE, but what makes me want to talk about the complexities of this four letter word is beyond just giving love advice, but because I recently experienced one of the greatest trials my romantic relationship ever had. 

I will not share the exact story, because I prefer to keep those personal details in private *wink* But what I’ll be sharing in this post are the thoughts I’ve collected from the heartbreaks and triumphs of my love story’s detour. Before I begin, please keep in mind that in love, in takes two to tango. You can never love alone and never be loved in return. You can go crazy because of love, but in a good way. It can change you or you can change yourself because of it and have a better relationship. 

When you are in a long-term relationship, you can’t go anywhere than forward. Perhaps you can talk about getting married and having kids, or may be doing something that will broaden your take in your relationship even more. You’ll feel a bit pressured because everyone around you already knows what’s next in your relationship, supposedly. But on the other hand, there you are thinking of other stuff, like career advancement or pursuing a long-time dream. It’s not that you don’t prioritize your relationship with your partner; you just want to achieve a few things for yourself, maybe because it’s in your nature. 

Not everyone has this dilemma; I guess some would give in and settle immediately because that’s their preference. I can’t say which one is better, or if the other one is totally just being selfish. I don’t know. Maybe it’ll depend on the couple and their priorities. What’s important in this issue is the understanding between the two of you. If your partner wants to have his or her own personal space to grow, you can give that and still be happy together. However, in return, each must fulfill their role as a partner whatever the circumstances may be. If you can’t give your attention because you’re so preoccupied hitting your goal bull’s eye, you must let your partner go and be happy with someone else. 

CRAZY IN LOVE

Another thing is being crazy in love. You’ll never know how crazy you can become until you experience a turning point in your relationship. The butterflies inside your stomach and the twitching toes when you kiss or cuddle are nothing compared to the brain-racking feeling you’ll experience when you face an unexpected trial in your relationship. You’ll go mad overthinking and overreacting until it consumes you and eventually breaks you into tiny pieces…you won’t even know where to start picking your shattered heart. That’s being crazy in love. After you’ve been pounded, grinded and smashed, you’ll still comeback as if you want to get hurt a little more, as if all the heartaches aren’t enough for you to die…not yet. And this is so sad to be felt once and devastating to experience over and over again. 

And that moment when you can’t even cry because your tear ducts are already dry, that’s when you make a decision: To love yourself and walk away, or to fight for this love because it’s worth it. Either way, the process will be too difficult and can be unbearable, but I’m sure you’ll be happy at the end of it all. 

ON-POINT. Lang Leav can translate emotions into words perfectly...

CHANGE OF HEART

Now, do we really change for love? Can love really change us? Yes. Even if some will start to argue about it, you will definitely be changed by love, in one way or another. A sad truth? No. I’ve been beautifully changed by love. It made me love my flaws, made me conquer my fears, made me realize that I’m a gem and that I’m worth saving. Before, I somehow believe that I was ruined by love. My belief was it prevented me to be the best daughter, sister and friend, deprived me of a lot of good things in life, and made me dependent on the person I am with. These are the negative thoughts I had before. But it amazes me, until now, to realize that it was actually love that rescued me from the pitfalls I had before. It is love that made me stronger and more confident. It is love who changed the insecure young lady into a self-assured woman. 

In the end, no one can solve the complexity of love for you. It is for you to find out. Just remember that love is not generally sweet, it can be a bit sour, salty and even bitter as it grows. You just have to deal with its ever-changing form. Be on guard, but also try to be hurt sometimes so you’ll appreciate its worth. 

Love is complicated, but overall, it is beautiful. 

Fight for it and make it last!